Much has been written about how to be a gracious hostess; today, we’re tackling an equally-important subject: how to be a gracious guest. For the most part, it’s a matter of common sense and basic etiquette (offer to help, show up on time, be thankful); to take things to the next level, keep these dos and don’ts in mind.
- Do let your hostess know ahead of time (and no, the day before doesn’t count) if you have any food allergies or dietary restrictions. For extra points, offer to bring a crowd-pleasing dish that fits within your diet: If you’re gluten-free, bring a rice stuffing; if you’re vegan, a side of roasted vegetables.
- Do figure out what you can bring to help lighten your host’s load. Don’t ask, “Is there anything I can bring?” Just step in and ask, “What can I bring?” This is always a polite move, but can be extra helpful on a holiday with so many different moving pieces at place.
- If you like to cook, offer to bake a pie or bring your go-to stuffing recipe, and bring the serving dish and utensils to go with it. Don’t assume there will be space in the oven or fridge for your contribution; check beforehand with the host or hostess, or bring an item that can be served at room temperature. Lastly, don’t be offended if your hostess declines your offer; they might have a super-specific lineup of dishes in mind.
- Do offer up your help with prep and clean-up. That said, don’t insist on helping if your host waves off your offer; sometimes an extra pair of hands can actually add to the stress level of a harried host.
- Do bring a hostess gift like an after-dinner drink, a nice candle, or some granola or pastries for your host to enjoy for breakfast the next day. Don’t bring an item that requires special attention from the host upon your arrival like a bouquet of flowers (unless they’re in a vase) or a highly-perishable item (your host’s fridge is likely quite full as is).
Last, but not least: Do realize how much work goes into hosting a big meal like Thanksgiving! Be sure to sincerely express your gratitude—a thank you note will always be appreciated.