You’ve been working from home! It’s so great. The kids are right there with you, and it’s just so much… quality time, right? They’re absolutely never throwing spaghetti at you or screaming bloody murder during your annual review with your boss. It’s just so great having this time. All together. In a two-bedroom home with only one door to the outside world. (No kids; have pets? Same problems; more shedding.)
Serenity now: There’s only so much you can control. But you know what you can control? Your Zoom background. Don’t be that person with the pixelated palm tree waving so drunkenly your colleagues will think a tropical storm is headed your way; no one thinks you’re in Cabo. Instead, give them pause—just for a second—that maybe you got a raise. We’ve got the poolside couches, happy hour patio setup, and outdoor grill with a view of the ocean you need to turn their heads or at least give them a smile today. Afterwards, of course, you should do some window shopping or retail therapy over at Williams Sonoma Home. You deserve it.
1. Fireside Chat
“When we’re done with this quarterly projections meeting I’m gonna go have some s’mores, y’all.”
2. Throw Another Shrimp on the Barbie
“Sorry, do you guys not have a full outdoor kitchen with a view of the Pacific?”
3. Nap in 5…4…3..2…
“The second this meeting shuts down, I am definitely not setting my phone to silent and taking a nap on that couch by my pool.”
4. Fireside Chat II
“You guys are acting like you don’t also have two outdoor fireplaces. As. If.”
5. Three-Course Lunch When We Wrap
“What’s that, boss? Turn the music down? But my guests are en route for… I mean, it’s the delivery guy with my lunch, of course. Which I will eat at my desk. Naturally.”
6. My Other Pool
“It’s a nice little pool, right? It’s my “winter” pool, since it’s heated. Hey, did we end early? Where’d everybody go?”
7. Is It Happy Hour Yet?
“Honey, pass the Comté. The Sauternes isn’t chilled?! Oh, oh, hey, guys, sorry, thought I was muted.”